The Curse of Perfectionism
Perfectionism has struck again. I’ve been overthinking this whole blog.
I started this in April thinking I would be consistent in posting here. I do love writing and this seemed like an excellent outlet for me to get my thoughts out. Now several months later, I only have two published posts and almost a dozen drafts that I started, but just couldn’t finish.
It feels eerily familiar.
Back in 2013 when I had my original Avoiding Average blog, I started off with such great steam but then started to lose focus on what the purpose of it was - to share my experiences, regardless of how “perfect” they were. Back then, before my deep healing journey, I didn’t understand how much perfectionism was ingrained in me, but it certainly impacted what I put out into the world. Or I suppose I should say, what I didn’t put out into the world.
This time around, I told myself it wouldn’t happen again. I would write with passion, and I would be consistent.
So much for that.
Looking back at it now (both 2013 and now), I realize that it’s just perfectionism coming back. And maybe my ADHD. I started a passion project but abandoned it because I wasn’t able to produce something to my unrealistically high bar I set for myself. I essentially set myself up for failure.
It’s funny how blind we are to our own weaknesses sometimes. I don’t think I would have realized how bad the perfectionism was in me until my therapist pointed out how exceptionally high of a standard I always aim to achieve. It’s not all bad - I’ve accomplished quite a lot (another post for another day), however it’s led to me being burnt out and feeling like a failure anyway because I don’t have the stamina to keep doing things I want to do.
But I’m ready to be done with that. From here on out, I will be utilizing this space as an online journal. My mind dump. My “LiveJournal” (anyone else remember that site?) and no matter how cringe it is, or however many spelling mistakes or poor word choices there are, I won’t allow perfectionism to get in the way of that again. I will get better over time and learn with consistent action.
So I hope you’ll stick around. My mind is an interesting place sometimes. But if it’s not your cup of tea, that’s totally fine too. Every once in a while I’ll probably share some exceptionally good posts on other sites like Instagram (or really, I’ll probably feed IG with posts from here), but until then, I’ll be typing away and ridding my brain of my swirling thoughts. What I might also do is begin to use X or Threads as mini brain dumps throughout the day. Feel free to follow along on there (@soulcoachsusan for both) if you’re interested in the random shit that comes up for me.
Some fun things to note for today though:
1) I launched my online store for tarot readings after finally gaining enough confidence in my intuitive reading skills! I’m actually pretty excited about this. 3-card readings and half hour readings are currently on sale as I adjust to my new storefront.
2) We went out to Chick-fil-A and Bruster’s after picking up the kiddos - today I learned that Bruster’s offers free baby cones to kids under 40”!
3) I’m working on some new digital offers and would love to hear what you’d be more interested in. I was thinking either a workbook or a recorded meditation.
4) I got to do another Akashic Records reading today - I forgot how much I loved doing those readings! As I’m gaining more trust in my intuition, I find that they are far more enjoyable and resonate a lot. If you’re interested in scheduling a reading to see what guidance your Masters, Teachers, and Loved Ones want to share with you, you can do so here.
That’s all for now. It’s getting far too late, and I still need to complete my nightly routine before bed. I’ll be back again soon!
Affirmation for today: I am ready to be free of perfectionism, and I am ready to fail in order to learn and continue to grow.
Love Always,
Susan
